Immortal Darkness
by Two-BitGortez
Summary: After the war Harry feels it is his fault that everyone has died, but running from his problems only seem to make it worse. Will his friends be able to help him find the light before he ends up hurting himself.-Rewritten and Updated 8th Jan 2012
1. Chapter 1: It's over

Disclaimer : I own no one.

A/N: revised on 8th Jan 2012

***Harry's P.O.V.***

I reached the top of the tower with Hermione and Ron following close behind. "We probably should tell your mom where we are so she doesn't freak out. She already has had enough to deal with today," I suggested through a weak voice.

"Right Mate," Ron said as he looked at Hermione, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. , "Why don't you head up to bed and we will be up in a few seconds. You look like you could use a good rest."

"No, I'll go. Please don't tell me that. You two have been through just as much as I have been. I will see you in a few minutes ok, I'll keep the cloak on till I get near your mom so no one stops me and I promise to make it quick ok?" Ron was about to say something but shut his mouth and nodded. He couldn't argue with the fact that he was completely exhausted as well. I watched as they entered the tower then turned to leave.

I passed the great hall and looked in. I looked toward Ginny, her head still resting on her mothers shoulder as she cried. I hurt them, it was my fault that Fred was dead. It was my fault that Lupin and Tonks were dead. It was my fault. Everything was my fault. I felt the tears run down my face and bolted towards the castle doors. I couldn't and didn't stop running until I reached Dumbledore's grave. I knew what had to be done before I left.

I placed the elder wand into his hands and stood back. At least I could make sure that was right. "Grave Repairro" I watched as Dumbledore's grave repaired. I placed my hand on top. "I'm so sorry Professor Dumbledore. You may rest in peace now." I bowed my head then headed into the direction of where I dropped the stone. It would be two dangerous if anyone else found this stone. Maybe I was being selfish because I wanted the stone for myself. I found it quickly and placed it back inside the snitch. I didn't even bother to look to see if my mother or father reappeared when I held it. I wished I were dead so I could be with them, as selfish as it may seem I didn't care. I shouldn't be living while those close to me kept dying because of me. I looked back towards the castle and knew what I had to do. "Kreacher!" I called out silently in to the air as a popping sound filled the area as he appeared before me.

"Master is ok! Kreacher was so worried! How can Kreacher serve Master?" He bowed low with a smile on his face and I tried to give him a little smile.

"I have to go on a trip for awhile and I was hoping that you would accompany me." I looked to him with hope, I didn't want to fully be alone, I know I didn't deserve to have comfort , but hopefully Kreacher wouldn't hate me.

"Of course Master, Kreacher would love to accompany Master." He bowed low again.

"Please give me your hand," He obeyed as I brought us my "Home". "I know you could have done that yourself, but I wanted to bring you here. We are going to be hiding in a way here for awhile. I just can't face people right now and too many people know about the other house. We will go back there in time, but for know we are going to stay are my parents home. I know the back is blasted open but we should be able to hide in it with out a problem." We continued to walk to the house. Kreacher walked closely besides me.

Upon arriving at the house I opened the gate and let Kreacher in first, then turned around to see if anyone was looking. I placed a special spell on the house so that Kreacher and I would not be seen. Then headed to the front door and walked in. Debris was here and there but at least the steps were in one piece. My body ached as I climbed the stairs. Kreacher followed close behind. I walked to a bedroom that I assumed was my parents and looked at the soft bed. It looked welcoming with all its pillows. I realized how dirty I was. I don't think my parents would mind be getting in bed dirty but I did.

"Umm Kreacher, Do you think there is any way that you can head back to Hogwarts and somehow get my trunk and bring it here. Do not tell them where we are though. If Hermione asks just tell her that I am on my way back and want to take a hot shower, and that I wish to get something out of my trunk. Once she has it out go to look in it and appear back here with it. Then we will need to get some water. I want to take a shower. I know my parents wouldn't care if I got the sheets dirty but I do care." He bowed low and popped out of site.

I probably shouldn't be here, after all I was responsible for the death of my mother and father, and for their close friends. 'I'll find a place of my own in the morning; just allow me this one night here.' I thought. I leaned against the wall then thought better and found myself sitting in the middle of the room on the floor. Trying not to get anything else dirty. I placed my head in my hands and tried to fight back tears. 'Why did I have to be the one? Why am I alone now? Why did everyone I care about have to be hurt? Why can't anything just go right for once in my life?' A popping sound filled my ears as I looked up not bothering to hide my tears.

***Hermione's P.O.V.***

Ron and I had headed up to the room in which he and Harry had shared with the other boys for so many years. He sat down on his bed and I joined him. The softness of the bed felt so good after the long days and nights on the cots Ron took my hand in his and just held it, running his thumb over the back of my hand softly we just stared at each other. We both sat back against the bed frame and waited for Harry return. I don't know how much time had passed because I was awaken by someone shaking me.

I groggily opened my eyes and looked to find Kreacher, whom was the source of the shaking. "I am sorry, Master Harry would like a few things from his trunk for his shower. I was sent here to get them. May I see his trunk." I rubbed my eyes and nodded. Ron stirred next to me.

"What is it." He grumbled as he rolled over to face Kreacher and I.

"Kreacher, Harry wants a few things. Where is he anyways?" I asked looking down at the house elf.

"Master wants to clean. I must take him clothes, a towel and some soap." I grabbed the trunk from my bag and placed it on the floor. I went to open it but Kreacher stopped me. "I will get it. Master asked me to get it." He looked strange as he said it but I didn't question him.

I backed away as Ron stood up and walked over me. He placed his arm around my waist and kissed my cheek. "How is he."

"Master needs Kreacher, Master may not be well, Master has accomplished a lot and dealt with so much. Master needs rest." Kreacher carried on. I yawned and while I did so the trunk and Kreacher where gone. I snapped my mouth shut, and looked to Ron.

"What just happened?" Ron said blinking a few times and turning to look at me.

***Harry's P.O.V.***

Kreacher appeared before me with my trunk. "Thank you" I barely mumbled.

"Kreacher, will go warm some water for Master if Master is ready to wash," He bowed low as I nodded. I walked to the bathroom that was connected to my parent's bedroom. It was full of dust which Kreacher seemed to be able to clean up in a matter of second. He even managed to fill the tub with water and warm it before I could blink. "There Master is, I shall leave a towel by tub and have a warm outfit out for master to change into. Will Master need anything else… I have soap for you Master." He bowed again.

"I am fine. Thank you, Kreacher that is all. You may wait for me in the room." I slipped into the tub. The warm water was soothing to my aching muscles, but I could not fight the feeling of wanting to slip under the water and never come up.

**A/N. Please read and review**


	2. Chapter 2: Anywhere

_**Disclaimer:** I own no one_

_**a/n:** revised on 8 Jan 2012_

**Harry's P.O.V.**

I washed quickly. It wasn't safe for me to be in the tub. I got out and dried off, putting my clothes onto my bruised and sore body. Walking into the bedroom I saw Kreacher sitting in a chair near the bed. "If that's comfortable enough there should be some extra blankets over there in that closet. You can make a nest with them like you enjoy to do right there in that chair for the night." His eyes seemed to sparkle as he got down, bowed low and ran for the closet. He seemed very excited by the idea. I headed for the bed and as soon as I laid back I fell asleep.

**Ron's P.O.V.**

Hermione and I headed to the common room where my family had started to gather. Well almost all my family, I still found it hard to believe Fred was gone. I looked to George who was on the couch next to mom. His eyes were closed and his cheeks were stained with tears. His breathing shallow which told me he was asleep. "Mom" I said quietly. Se looked up at me and smiled the best she could, her own soaked face made me want to cry. My dad looked up as well. "I am sorry to tell you this, especially with all that is happening right now, but Harry's gone." She looked confused as the rest looked up. "He said he was going to tell you that we were coming up here get some rest, but he never came back. A few seconds ago Kreacher appeared to get some things for Harry so we thought he was in the bath and forgot stuff but he disappeared with everything of Harry's."

"Arthur," My mom started to panic. Over the year's Harry had become just like a son to her. My dad seemed to hold that same look of fear on his face that my mom had. "Where could he have gone too? Do you think he went to.."

"No I don't think he went there Molly. He is too smart for that kind of thing he would have known we would look there, plus he doesn't know the state of it." Dad said as he started to pace. "Bill and I will go and check just to be sure. Percy and Charlie can go to the Burrow to check. I will head alone to Privet Drive after to check to see if he went there. He probably just stepped out for a little while. They boy has been through so much and has stayed strong through it all. Harry probably just needed a little time alone to sort through his thoughts."

**Arthur's P.O.V.**

I walked with my sons through the castle and out onto the grounds of Hogwarts. "Percy. Charlie." The boys turned to look at me. "Be careful when checking on the Burrow. If there are too many traps set, leave. Do not worry about the state of the house, the house can be fixed. It is Harry that we must worry about. Harry would not go there if there was too much Danger. I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't. Once you check the house please return straight here and head up to the tower where your mother is." They nodded their heads and disappeared. "Lets go son," I said turning to Bill.

I turned and landed in front of what had become like my second home in the summers. Bill had his wand out ready. I opened the door slowly with spells running thru my mind. It looked ok from the outside. What is that saying though, oh yes, never judge a book by its cover?

Upon entering the house it was apparent that the home was a gigantic mess. It needed many repairs and there was a lot of damage. I stepped into the house and was prepared to have anything come after me. But nothing came. There was more debris scattered threw out the hall. "Why don't I go up and you go that way dad." Bill suggested. I nodded and headed into the first room. There was nothing. I continued to go thru the house but nothing ever came. It was just messy and dusty. All that hard cleaning that had been completed by Molly and the kids had vanished. 'Better not mention that to her right now' I thought 'She would be even more crushed than she already is.'

I waited by the steps for Bill to come down. He came and looked at me. "Nothing on my end Dad, what about you?" I shook my head and he looked away. "No Harry either, I wonder where he could have gone, there is not many places he would be fond of that we don't know about…at least I don't think there is."

I was relieved that there had been no spells cast; at least if He did come here after we left he would not have to worry about the danger. It was just a mess, but I am sure Kreacher would deal with it now that he is in a better mood than he once was. It would have been nice to have found Harry. "Bill would please head back to your mother. I am going to go and check Privet Drive." He nodded and disappeared. I focused on the tiny home that I had been to only a few times.

I turned on the spot and landed in front of the small house that Harry had grown up in. The lights were off and I placed a spell on the house to see if anyone was in there. There was nothing. I knew for a fact that Harry would be unable to place a spell to counter that. He was a great wizard, but still had so much to learn. I signed and didn't bother going into the house to check. I then turned in my spot to head back to Hogwarts.

**Charlie's P.O.V.**

Percy and I appeared at the Burrow. On the outside everything seemed to be normal. "Ready," I looked to him. He nodded and we began to head towards the door.

"Hey Charlie," I stopped to look at Percy. "I am sorry about before. I'm sorry for everything." He truly was remorseful.

"It's ok. Let's just try and find Harry." I opened the door. Percy and I's wands were raised and ready to fight what ever was to come from the house. We were surprised when nothing attacked us. The only thing that was different was the thin layer of dust and Fred's hand on the clock was no longer with the rest of our hands. I held back a sob. My brother was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. Percy and I searched the bottom before we started up the stairs.

After searching for a while we headed back down stairs. "Well No Harry, and nothing bad. Guess its ok to head back then." Percy said sadly. Right now neither of us wanted to be here at the Burrow.

**Ron's P.O.V.**

I watched my mother hold George and Ginny in a tight hug as the three of them sat on the couch. Tears were streaming down her face. The portrait door opened about an hour after my father and brothers had left. My mother looked up hoping for good news.

"Sorry mom. No sign of him." Bill said as Charlie and Percy nodded. "I got back about 15 minutes ago. I was going to wait for Dad to meet us back to see if we should check on Charlie and Percy and then they appeared a few minutes ago. Dad went to check Privet Drive."

Her tears became more frequent as she began to cry harder. My brothers hung their heads wishing they could do more, but knowing they couldn't. "Thank you boys, Thank you for looking." She cried threw her sobs. "Why don't you boys go and rest now, We all need our rest."

"We will soon Mom. Lets just wait for dad." Bill spoke up for us as he sat down by the fire. Charlie and Percy followed closely behind.

Dad arrived a short bit later. He sadly shook his head no that he had not found Harry. George moved aside a bit much to moms protest and let dad slip in next to her. He in turn held my brother close. Bill, Charlie and Percy had moved from their spot by the fireplace and sat near my mom. We hadn't been this close for a long time. Fleur had gone to her parents home earlier in the evening to be with her parents. They had been worried sick after hearing what had happened to Fred. She promised to return in time for Fred's funeral.

My dad wrapped an arm around my mom who laid her head on his shoulder. "We have to find him. I have already lost one son today I cant loose another." She looked into the fire and spoke softly. "Harry James Potter, where are you."

"We will find him mom… we will find him." I said soothingly.

"Boys, Hermione, Ginny. Why don't you head up to bed now? It's late." My dad said looking at my mom. "We will be up in a minute. We have a long day tomorrow. We should help with some repairs before we search for Harry. I am sure he is fine where ever he is tonight. He has Kreacher with him. We will return to the Borrow tomorrow night." I nodded with my brothers. Bill helped lead George up the stairs toward our room and I watched as Hermione helped guide Ginny to the girl's dormitory.

"It will be ok Molly," I heard my dad whisper to her as I turned the corner and headed up to my room.

**Harry's P.O.V. **

It had been a week since I had defeated Voldemort and vanished from Hogwarts. Those who had lost their lives have been buried. Of course no one saw me there, but I couldn't stay away, not for that. "Kreacher" I said one evening at dinner. "Do you think it will be safe enough to go back to the Black's house now?" I had debated this for awhile surely the Weasley's couldn't still be looking for me there. I did worry and hoped that nothing was left by the death eaters in Sirus's old home. I didn't want to put me nor Kreacher in that danger.

"Would master like Kreacher to check. It is no problem." Before I could respond I head a pop and he was one. He was only gone for a few minutes before a returning pop filled the air. "All is clear master, but Kreacher is sad to say it is very dirty and needs much tending too." He bowed low to me.

"Ok… listen up cause here is what I want to do. Please sit down cause I have a long list of things I would like done and you have worked hard lately you need some rest as well." I began as he obliged. Over the past few days he had learned that I will still respect how he feels, but he also needs to respect that I feel the need to treat him as my equal. "I understand that it was the Black's home for so long, but now it is mine, and therefore it needs updating to fit current times. First off you may have one room of the house." I already knew he would take Sirus' brothers. "In that room, you may keep it the way you want. I want.. well we need to find a way to get Mrs. Black off that wall. If you can get her down you can keep her in your room, but I don't want to see her. I am truly tired of her rants. Next comes the issue of the family tree. I want it taken down. You may keep it for your room or if it must be kept in the family give it to the Malfoy's. I am not a Black and have no need for it. As for your family's heads. I know it's an honor thing, but I don't want them in the hallway. It kind of creeps me out to see them when I walk down the hall. I would like to move them to your room if that's all right." He nodded slowly with everything I said. He knew where I was coming from. "I think the stairs and floor could use some new staining, and the walls need some fresh paint. Get some lighter colors in there cause everything was so dark and grim." I kept going as Kreacher just nodded and smiled.

It took an hour to discuss everything that I would need to do. Kreacher placed orders for things that I would need and promised to pick them up in the morning and bring them to the house. This would be a long process, but one day I hoped it would be worth it. While Kreacher went around making plans I took out a piece of paper from what I believed was my dad's old desk and began to write a letter. I had worried the Weasly's enough and was tired of trying to dodge them. Well them and everyone else who was looking for me.

_Mr. and Mrs. Weasly,_

_Ever since I met your family you have been like family to me. Showing me what I have always wanted and loved me as your our, But I have to ask you to Please stop trying to find me. I really do appreciate all the things your family has done for me over the years that I've known I'm a wizard, but I do not deserve it anymore. I am the reason your son has died. It is my fault that I was not capable enough to work hard and faster to rid the world of Voldemort. By the time this owl reaches you I will be home, a home where I should be. I hope someday you will forgive me for killing your son, and friends, and again I thank you for all your kindness over the years. I shall never forget it. _

_Sincerely,_

_Harry Potter_

_P.S. Though I don't deserve it, Please pass my message to the others that are searching for me. I wish to live the rest of my life alone and in peace._

I read over my work and sealed it in an envelope. "Kreacher, can you bring this somewhere so they may send it by owl." Kreacher came immediately and did what I asked. It was getting late. "I think I'm going to head to bed. I will see you in the morning Kreacher." With that I left the kitchen and headed up towards my parents bedroom.

"Good Night Master Harry, Sleep well." Kreacher said with a smile. At least he still adored me like a son in a way. I didn't deserve him, but I was glad I did have him. I jumped into bed and was hoping for a quiet night, which it was until about 1 in the morning.

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	3. Chapter 3: Breaking Heart

**Author's Note:** revised on 8th Jan 2012

**Disclaimer:** I own no one

**Ginny's P.O.V.**

We sat at the dinner table eating the stew my mother had spent most the day preparing. It was different not having Fred around, and just George. He rarely joked around or laughed. It just wasn't it same, nor would it ever be the same. He had promised not to close his shop, but was taking some time off to figure out what he was going to do. Bill was still a at home with us, but he was going in the morning to get Fleur at her parent's house. Then from there they would return to their cottage. She had briefly joined us for the funerals then returned to her parents. She didn't know Fred that well and wanted to give Bill some space to grieve with us. This was going to take a long time to get used to.

There was a tap on the window and Percy got up to allow an owl in. Gave it some money and handed the letter to mom and dad. "Its for you"

I watched my dad read the letter once, and then look up at all us. "Well…. It's from Harry… I am.. well I'll just read it I guess. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Ever since I met your family you have been like family to me. Showing me what I have always wanted and loved me as your our, But I have to ask you to Please stop trying to find me. I really do appreciate all the things your family has done for me over the years that I've known I'm a wizard, but I do not deserve it anymore. I am the reason your son has died. It is my fault that I was not capable enough to work hard and faster to rid the world of Voldemort. By the time this owl reaches you I will be home, a home where I should be. I hope someday you will forgive me for killing your son, and friends, and again I thank you for all your kindness over the years. I shall never forget it. Sincerely. Harry Potter. P.S. Though I don't deserve it, Please pass my message to the others that are searching for me."

I looked at Dad. I knew I had tears in my eyes. How could Harry do this? What had gotten into him lately? My dad looked sadly at my mother and passed her a napkin. She was crying again. Bill, Charlie, Percy and George were all silent look at their dinner plates. Hermione has moved closer to Ron who had his arm around her. I felt a teat slide down my cheek. Why was he doing this? A double crack filled the air and a letter appeared on the table addressed to Ron and Hermione.

Ron slowly grabbed the letter. "That was weird..must have been Kreacher… I guess…I'm kind of scared to see what it says." Hermione squeezed his hand. "_I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough or smart enough to beat him faster. I need to be on my now its time for me to go home. Hermione you have always been the smart one and have been a sister to me. Ron you're my best mate and my first true best friend. You two take care of one another I know you are meant for one another. It's been obvious since the first moment you spoke on the Hogwarts Express. And Ron I really do love Ginny, but I think someone else would be better for her. She shouldn't have to marry her brother's killer_. Ron put the letter down not even caring to finish what ever it had said. "What does he mean by going home…. You don't think he will kill himself….do you….?"

Hermione shot Ron a glance "Ron.. please I don't think we should think about that right now. Mrs. Weasley, where have we looked all again."

"Here, Hogwarts, his aunt and uncles numerous of times and Sirus's old home over 14 times." Mom said as she sipped her tear and dabbed her eyes again.

"Have we checked Godrics Hollow? …..That's it! He went HOME! He must have gone to Godrics Hollow, where else would home be plus that is the only place we haven't looked" I stomped of to the fireplace leaving my family stunned. My mom and dad looked at one another before running over to me. "He's avoiding us for nothing. That little asshole is going to hear it and he's going to hear it from me. If he's not there then I don't know where he is… He has to be ok.. He has to. He's fought all his life why stop it now. " I fell to my knees crying. I had lost it. 'I have finally snapped' I thought as my family came over to me.

"Arthur." My mom said, but my dad was already out the door. On his way to look for Harry, yet again, on our endless search.

"Mom, Hermione and I are going to go with him... She's been there before and can see if Harry left anything behind." Ron said as she nodded. My mom led me to the couch where I quickly dried my tears. I needed to stop crying over Him.

"Maybe you should.." My mom began before I snapped.

"No. I am waiting right here until they return." My mom sighed and returned to the table and began to clear the empty dishes.

I must have fallen asleep on the couch because I was awoken when my father, brother and Hermione returned. "There were signs that he was there. It was cleaner but he's not there anymore. It looks like he's been gone from there for a while now. I know he wants us to give up but I don't think I can." Hermione stated as she sat down on the couch with Ron. I knew how she felt. I loved Harry. I still Love Harry. There was no way I could stop looking.

"Mom, can we try Sirus's one last time tomorrow morning. I promise after that I will not ask again." It nearly broke my heart to say this. If he was not there then I would die. I would not live. My mom nodded as I headed up stairs to my bedroom.

Sleep didn't come easily to me all night and morning came all to fast, for before I knew it we all were dressed and waiting by the fireplace to use the flu network to head to Sirus's. It all happened to fast. Once minute we were in our home and the next we were there staring at Kreacher who was looking at us in fear. Like we had found out a big secret we weren't supposed to know about.

"Kreacher.. is he here." Dad asked kindly.

Kreacher was unable to lie and simply nodded. "Follow me please… oh master Harry will not be happy about this… no he wont." Every one was in awe as we exited the kitchen and noticed all the changes that had been made. We followed him up there stairs and to a door in which he knocked lightly. "Master."

"Come in, Kreacher" Harrys voice sounded all but too weak. The door opened and Harry sat at a desk and looked up almost in fear. His eyes were blood shot and he had bruises all over his arms. I gasped as he tried to stand but fell back down instead. We all filed in and Kreacher dismissed himself after explaining and apologizing to Harry so he would not get in trouble. He promised to bring back some snacks. "What more do you want from me." Harry's voice was so weak it was barely audible. My family tensed.

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